Mums operation went well, her ureters, which lead off the kidneys were covered in calcium deposits which the surgeon scraped, and layered them with fat, guess thats to stop the calcium reforming.

She is likely to be in alot of pain, and still has a week in hospital to go, so prayers for a pain free recovery appreciated

I remember thinking after I left CIC, how much of Pete M's gift of word of knowledge was god given and how much of it was because he had such a wonderful informing net work. I remeber a few times after I had been talking to C, Pete came through with an amazing word of knowledge in church, especially with my baptism, the word he spoke was incredibly apt. But then again I had spoken with alot of the pastors in that time as well.

I remember thinking was I being cynical and Peter M really did have the gift of the word of knowledge. However then I got speaking to M from down south, and she confirmed my suspisions. She said on one occasion, she had shared some personal stuff with one of the other leaders, and then surpise, it was built into the next sundays service.

Some people deserve a slapping. I dont think they started out to be like that however somewhere along the way they have started down a dangerous path

If your a christian who read this blog, would you say a prayer for my mum. She's going into hospital today, to have an operation on her kidneys.

Its kind of gross, because to get to her kidneys the surgeon has to go in through the front, lifting out her guts out onto her chest to where he needs to go.

She is likely to be fine however after the op, there is the likihood that she will feel like shes been repeatedly been run over by a bus, so if you could pray that she will get through the op ok and that post op will be fine as well

Currently in the middle of a great debate with some users on christian forums
ovr whether it matters how a christian packages the truth. One party says that its okay to be rude obnoxious and totally arrogant when one presents the truth. They say that the truth will win through, because the truth is the truth.

I dont tend to agree. some of the most well known churches in new zealand have managed to completely alienate the New Zealand public because of how they speak that message into peoples lives. I think its easier to preach at people, rather than taking the time to walk along side them and actually get to know them, before speaking the truth into their life.

Ray Comfort who wrote "hells best secret" quoted figures on a well known church denomination in America. One year they had over 214,000 decisions for Christ. That is 214,000 people who said "I want to make Jesus Lord of my life". At the end of that year only 14,000 could be found in fellowship. He speaks on the need to tell people about the law, however I think the manner in which he does it, is such that people listen. I listened recently to a debate between Mr Comfort and the head of the american atheist society, he got away with saying alot to these people, because of the manner that he presented the truth in.

Something people could stand to learn I think. Not saying I am perfect by any means, however I believe in the getting to know people as opposed to the preaching at people approach

Isaiah 1:10-17 Jerusalem, your rulers and your people are like those of Sodom and Gomorrah. Listen to what the LORD is saying to you. Pay attention to what our God is teaching you.
11 He says, "Do you think I want all these sacrifices you keep offering to me? I have had more than enough of the sheep you burn as sacrifices and of the fat of your fine animals. I am tired of the blood of bulls and sheep and goats.12 Who asked you to bring me all this when you come to worship me? Who asked you to do all this tramping around in my Temple? 13 It's useless to bring your offerings. I am disgusted with the smell of the incense you burn. I cannot stand your New Moon Festivals, your Sabbaths, and your religious gatherings; they are all corrupted by your sins. 14 I hate your New Moon Festivals and holy days; they are a burden that I am tired of bearing. 15 "When you lift your hands in prayer, I will not look at you. No matter how much you pray, I will not listen, for your hands are covered with blood. 16 Wash yourselves clean. Stop all this evil that I see you doing. Yes, stop doing evil 17 and learn to do right. See that justice is done---help those who are oppressed, give orphans their rights, and defend widows."

This small passage of scripture that says so much

Verses 10-17, I think could be applied to so much of the church today. We run around doing our good works, being pious in the right places, but we miss awesome privilidge of being able to feed the hungry person or to clothe the naked person, because we are so comfortable in our little towers arguing over petty aspects of doctrine, while by us a world walks into hell

We are so caught up in our revivals and meetings and seeing bums on seats. Sucess is how many people come to christ, when sucess should be measured by seeing those new believers growing into their faith, being there to help if they stumble, and after five years seeing those same people still in fellowship, and in 10 years and in 20 years

Isaiah 1:18-20 The LORD says, "Now, let's settle the matter. You are stained red with sin, but I will wash you as clean as snow. Although your stains are deep red, you will be as white as wool.19 If you will only obey me, you will eat the good things the land produces.20 But if you defy me, you are doomed to die. I, the LORD, have spoken.

This is powerful stuff, red speaks to me of blood and blood doesnt truly ever wash out. there is always a residue that is left behind. Can God really be powerful enough to make me as white as snow. After the places I've been, after what I've done. I already know that answer. God has forgiven me. However that also means that I must forgive others, why do so many christians think that forgiveness is an additional extra of the christian walk

"'Safe?' said Mr. Beaver...'Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. but he's good. He's the King, I tell you.'" CS Lewis, (Lion witch and the Wardrobe)

Last night at the life course, we were discussing Jesus and who he was, and some got on to discussing how when things are really bad God carried them through it.


I got to thinking, a long time ago, when I really hated God, and wanted nothing to do with him, I made plans to take my life, had enough pills to kill a horse, pills that on their own should have done the trick and even if that failed the negative contraindications between the different drugs should have killed me. All that happened was that I slept, still have no idea how I got from the couch where I had collapsed to my bed.

At the time I wondered whether there was a higher power looking out for me, looking back now I can see it was God looking out for me, and bringing me through it because he has a higher plan for my life.Thats like wow material, that God would still do something so amazing, for someone who hated him

Not putting photos up because of the decidedly stalky element that I seem to attract, however I had the best day today.

Caught up with my sister and her boys today, we had a playdate at lollipops playland, its an indoor play area that has a bouncy castle, inflatable slides, a climbing frame, slides and other ride on toys. Encountered one foul sprog, not only did he pinch J, was pulling on the hair of other kids even S said he pushed her. Kind of sad that kids are growing up like that, I mean if a kid cant learn the basics like its not ok to hurt other people at that age, what hope is their for the kid when he grows up and is having adult relationships.

After that came home and did some more on my assignment, almost finished, all I need to do is to bable on for another 2 hundred words and I should be sweet

I've already posted this on here, but as it so aptly describes the day I've had, I thought it would be good to post it again

Got a letter from work and income, telling me that I hand returned my renewal forms and if I didnt get them to the office in 28 days they would cut my allowance. The only probelm was that I had returned the forms, plus the extra paper work they had requested, over two weeks ago. rang the 0800 number, and got a man that was very unhelpful and had no idea what was going on. So lucky me being only 5 mins from the office decided to take a trip in. It is now resolved, seems because the office is having a huge reshuffle, they had lost my papers.

Second point of annoyance, had rung the CAT team to set up some respite during my exams and study which is comming up in three weeks. But because its not an emergency its not appropriate for them to be doing that. I felt like reminding them that last time it took them two weeks to get me in on emergency respite. What ever happened to being proactive. It is that one reason why I miss ChCh, I had a good working relationship with the crisis team, and they understood and fully supported me being proactive

The one high note was went to the life course at St Pauls. Very unlike CIC, the vicar, M actually spoke to me when I arrived, it wasnt just one of those lofty glances that PM gives out to the CIC flock

I had a change in church this week, decided to go back to St Pauls this week. Its an anglican church, but unlike most anglican churches that stick strictly to the liturgy of the eucharist, St Pauls has a traditional anglican service in the morning, however its night service is "charasmatic" to say the least. On sunday night they had a SOAK service, which is a service of worship, but also a real chance to God to talk back

A chance to experience God in a non hyped up environment, no one telling me to raise my hands, turn around and touch my nose. Ok so I'm being exceedingly caustic about CIC, however I lost count of the amount of times I heard "come on church lift your hands" like I had no clue how to worship God, I think God wants us to worship him in spirit and in truth. For me truth was not raising my hands because someone else said so

The people are real, and its a place where I can be me, I have this ultimate sense of peace about that place, unlike albany CC where there were things that caught a squick in my spirit. I'm not still sure though if that was coz of it was another penticostal church and penticostal churches have some things in common, and I'm a bit jumpy. It could be argued that CIC was where God had me for a season, however I left there feeling like I had expereinced a counterfit God. I met with God on sunday night, really God.

I'm confused. The people at Albany CC seem like good people, and the preaching always has plenty of meat, however I havent got that feeling of perfect peace like that will be my home church.

Sent R at St Pauls an email, He is away in England at the moment, however will get a chance to chat with him when he gets back. A nice guy and no BS

Check out this covering and authority article

This guy writes alot of good stuff, including on the false teaching that a christian must be under the authority of of a human man for their salavtion to be complete. But also the "touch not the lords annointed". Which seems to me to be a very clever way of shutting down any critisim. Especially if we add a prefix of "the lord said....." or suffix of "thus said the lord". Who wants to argue with God. I know many who would rather sit by while someone teaches hersey, because to confront them would be going against someone who God has supposedly put there.

Was listening to a sermon by BT the bishop of destiny church, called vipers of religon. The man is scary and whats scaryier is that his 2000 strong congregation swallow the bilge he puts across the pulpit as being 100% correct. However he contradicts himself and the bible in many different places, one of those being he says that not all people in church leadership are put there by God, however the scripture in the new testament that states, "all leadership is appointed by God". Its no wonder why this man has a caution rating on the Cults.co.nz website. Also he seems to bang on about denominations and how they are of the house of Saul and dead churches, some of them are and many who attend are not born again, however he fails to realise, or perhaps ignores the fact that Destiny Church, is another denomination and slightly stranger than most.

acts
11:17
And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in
Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul's message. They searched the
Scriptures day after day to check up on Paul and Silas, to see if they were
really teaching the truth.

If its was good enough for those in the early new testament church to check everything with the scripture, why is it so difficult for those in the church today, to test what is said. Like the day that PM got up and started lambasting those who had stayed at the parachute music festival. "You should be under the word of God on a sunday" . And everyone was like "yea preach it, tell it pastor, blah blah blah"

"well excuse me, isnt it a christian music festival", and from what I was told the sunday was like one big church service. I was left wondering whether it was about being under the word of God, or being under the word of God according to Peter Mortlock. Again, another church where everyone has to be under the covering of appointed leadership. I wonder where that comes from, because I can not find anything in the new testament that says my salavation is based on which church I attend. "But this is the only church that has sufficent enough annointing to see that you get free, maybe destiny church", (statement by a CIC member), it strikes me as incredibly arrogant and prideful to say that they are the only church in new zealand that has sufficently enough got their act toegther.

Again, there are some dead churches, however to bring an example from Brother Andrew, author of Gods Smuggler, he tells of a "puppet church, in one of the communist countries that he visited. The pastor of this church was one selected by the authorities because he was "suitable" and it was refered to as a puppet church, or a church that God wasnt present in. However it was a church that God moved mightily in, and when the Pastor was forbidden from re-entering the country, his church was reduced back down to the orginal 200. However those who left the church did not fall into apostacy, they moved on to other places, and the Good news of Chrits was spread in a mighty was through the communist countries.... And to think, it all started from a suposed "dead" Church.

To write of a church because they are not playing modern worship songs, or they are not rich, or the pastor doesnt dress in $3000 suits, or the congration are not all smiley and happy 100% of the time, is to put God in a box, and as God showed with that "puppet" church in communist russia where two or three are gathered together in his name, there he is also

Food for thinking about, a large church is not necessary a sign that it has Gods favour

I can imagine this is the topic of a few blog posts at the moment. Those in the church who want to ban it, because it criticises the church, and those like me, who like that book as a piece of fiction, but we realise this book is easy enough to refute


I mean Dan brown, cant even get his anatomy and physiology right, JAcques Sauniere, the "grand master" of the priory of Sion, who was killed by a gunshot to the abdomen. They are pretty painful injuries I'm told, however certainly unlikely to kill someone in 15 minutes unless there was excessive blood loss.

I would have to delve into the history further, however the dates he quotes in the movie, just dont sound right. Gnosticim and the idea that Jesus had a secret side to his life, well its funny, actually its quite absurd.

For the first time in ages, that weekend away did me a load of Good. K is lovely, such a motherly sort, and to catch up on sleep was exactly what the doctor ordered. E the otherlady there seemed ok, probably where I was five years ago. Ks place is out in the country, so no auckland air to choke on, all cleam fresh country air. Mildly funning incident on the saturday, hadnt shut the gate properly and Ks pigs wondered in behind me. Turned around to look and there were two pigs frolicking in Ks potplants. Kind of like these two


D & C seem ok today, have decided to pray to God about them, I have no idea of how to handle the situation, however C for such a beautiful young woman, seems so caught up in the belief that her self worth is based on how she looks or what she does. It would be cool to be able to tell her about a God who she is priceless to.

we live in a society that says women must have the perfect body, that its ok to starve oneself as a means of loosing weight, or says that binging and purging is ok and well want to loose a few pounds go for some diet pills

was at the gym this morning, and there is a whole bunch of TVs over looking the cardio area. One of them was playing a Pink song, stupid Girls I think it was called, anyhow there was this one scene where pink and the other chick were making themselves puke in the sink... I was amazed, that our media thinks that its ok to put this S**t on main time TV. Is thaht why Ms C, with her perfect little size 6 body whinges that she fat. Seriously I dont have an issue with her being slim and beautiful, however I want to slap some sense into her when I hear her remarking to D, her boyfriend how fat she is.

I always thought that to be slim like her would be wonderful, but I'm starting to realise that small slim people have their issues in the same way big people do

The definition of a pharisee?

They were the ones who in Jesus time, believed they were following Gods will, but they were so caught up in legalism they forgot the grace of the gospel

Its a shame, there are many in the church today, that are so bound up in legalism, they forget the grace of the gospel. Christian forums is one of them people get so caught up in the need to prove their point, that they have to resort to mudslinging, name calling and then have the nouce to be offended because people dont swallow their bilge.

I think its time to move this blog. I have a cyber stalker

Those days when my head hurts, I've been to the gym am feeling ok, better for having been actually.

Depression sucks eggs, cant be assed, the anxiety sucks

Had a big dilema, for the last few days. Stuff I wont go into here due to the likely hood of it being copied and pasted by a certain person, after being stung with one blackmail threat I shall be alot more discerning to who I tell what to

However went and saw P, and her advice was to fess up, went through two hours of huge angst. So fessed up and the weight that came off, was huge. Have to see T next week however no huge consequences

Its a complete b*tch...... It seems to be running rampant at the moment. I am so not enoying things, to stressed about assignments, work, and generally fitting 26 hours into my 24 hour day.
I feel like such a space case at the moment, also that I have no life

Yay for after examns when I get my life back, but then again I'm the masochist who decided to take five subjects and uni. Thanks goodness fieldwork doesnt have an exam, or else I would have a horrible load to study for the exams. Hope they are spread out a bit, so I have sufficent enough time to study for each one

Are evil. I wasnt getting my emails from overseas, finally got the one my mum sent on sunday 14th May today.

Abyhow last night, they had a nationwide outage. No internet all night. Well it was good in some respects coz I got pure time to concentrate on my assignments. However this morning is still causing problems, the odd occasional page wont load.

All of a sudden telecome are forced to unbundle their lines and the internet goes to crap.

Not bad since I've been at this blog since february, either I have alot to say or maybe I'm just full of hot air. Perhaps both are true. I know some that would certainly say that

However having a relatively anonoymous place on the net to process stuff, has really saved my sanity, ok probably wouldnt take a rocket scientist to figure out who I was, however I like the illusion of being anonoymous

Ok blurble over. The flatmates are interesting. The guy of the couple seems to be loosening up, we even had an almost conversation yesterday, however his girlfriend is a very pretty girl, who seems to be really insecure. I dont know why, she is very pretty and a body that I would die for and seems like to have so much going for her. However at times, face appearances are not what they seem. Minor moment of funniness, both of them were at home when I got home from work, and they were in their rooms, however the minute they realised I was home, it was running up the stairs to claim the sky TV

lol had to laugh

Its no wonder so many in this world are going to hell and the church doesnt give a rip, because its more interested in arguing theological issues that while they are important, arent going to stop people from going to hell..... Also non christians look at the fact that christians cant play nice and think "if thats God, thanks but no thanks, not interested"

At times holding my tounge is hard, particulalry on christian forums, theres one character called "ToL", holds to the Wof "name it and claim it" subculture, however a very interesting character, doesnt have a problem with picking on 16 year olds however tends to get his knickers in a bunch when someone says something mean to him. Kind of ironic when this guy is like 48 years old. I think I may have to pull back from their for a while. A few times I've gone to post something caustic and scathing and I've fully pulled back from posting it. Almost one of those clear directives that God gives at times

Who was it that said "evil is when Good men do nothing" Never mind but its kind of true. There is so much damage done in this world, and most of the time, people stand by and do nothing.

Watched Hotel Rwanda again, it was on sky today. The story is such a sad indictment on western society and New Zealand.

On one hand we have people like the Salavation army who are dealing with all sorts of community stuff, they arent in the media much, because they dont sell news, however they are doing the great commission

On the other hand we have people like Destiny Church and CIC. They are in the media alot, probably because the idea of biggoted christians fanatics sells news. I think its sad though, after listening to some of BBs sermons, I've realised the man has serious holes in his theology

Why oh why is it that Christians cant debate without ripping each other to shreds

Theres a WoF lot on christian forums who are very much pro healing, they believe that God heals on demand and that if we say we have no sickness, then we have no sickness. Its kind of wierd and kind of scary, coz for a bunch of christians its remarkably similar to witchcraft. Eg Follow this formula and get what we like, preform a ritual and get what we like.

Need to look further into this WoF thing. Some of it I can get, I believe that God wants to heal us, John 9:1-3 Joh 9:1

1As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been born blind.
Joh 9:2 His disciples asked him, "Teacher, whose sin caused him to be born blind? Was it his own or his parents' sin?"
Joh 9:3 Jesus answered, "His blindness has nothing to do with his sins or his parents' sins. He is blind so that God's power might be seen at work in him.

The KJV says "so that the works of God may be manifest in his life.

This one bears some more contemplation, will come back to this one

I am pissed!!!!!!


Infact beyond pissed, right now I have the overwhelming desire to nail G's nuts to the wall. Definately not a christian response, however how does one counter a culture, of lying and falsehoods in a non christian way, when the person you desire to be upfront and honest with, is a brainless wonder who hides there head in the sand at the first sign of trouble, they would much rather live in a fairy tale la la land

This is war, first step to talk to JC the student president. May not be able to do anything to help P but if I can cause trouble through the offical channels then its gloves of apart from the fact that the students think P is damm good at their job, this is like the third disability co-ordinator in less than 16 months


I have to wonder what the christian response would be, and I think if God would say anything, it would be do it through the proper channels and that hunting G down in the corridor is not a good way to go about things however pursuing a complaint through the advocate could be a good start

severe confusion at the moment, the whole debarcle with the new disability cordinator. Damm it I dont want a new one, I want the one we currently have

Its not fair that they keep her hanging on like that, if she really hasnt got the job, the *ssholes should simply put her out of her misery, what they are doing is cruel. I feel though if she doesnt get the job, its not because of her ability to do the job, its because of the politics, and someone in her past that has the ear of those responsible for picking who will get the job.

I know that I cant make the life of the new disability cordinator hell, as much as I would like to, however its not her fault. going to the student advocate is looking like a good plan. Not only is what they have done to P not acceptable, however to keep the students hanging round like this as well, is also not ok.

It seems that its okay to minimise any minority group at school, so long as that group isnt tangata whenua

Pic from here

When things are down, people love to tell other people that God will never give us more than we can bear... Right now I find myself wishing he didnt have such a high estimation of my abilities. It seems as I get through one lot, then another lot piles on top. Trying to write an assignment and getting hopelessly distracted. Got one in this morning and have about another two this week, one next week

It never stops. I have decided that on the first week of my holidays I am going down south for a whole week. I will walk on the beach, spend time communing with the King and catching up in general

alas thats five weeks away

God give me the strength to not go pop inbetween now and then

Started this course last night. It covers basic Christian apologetics, in simple, exploring why we believe what we believe..... I'm excited actually, the guy taking it, unlike many course leaders, doesn't anthetise his students because of lack of presentation and sheer boredom factor.

Spoke with M last night as well. First impression was that he looked very stern and grumpy, but getting to talk to him a bit was cool. Was wondering how many came with situations like mine, but it was cool the idea that people would do a course, just simply to upskill. The concept that a church provides everything, sets people up for failure and discontentment, when the church cant meet those needs

Its a seriously scary movement, actually also severely shakey in its theology

from here

Vertical Apostles

Ecclesiastical apostles.
Apostles who are given authority over a sphere which includes a number of churches, presumably in an apostolic network headed up by the apostle.
Functional apostles.
Apostles who are given authority over those who have an ongoing ministry in a certain specific sphere of service which has defined boundaries of participation.
Apostolic Team Members.
Apostles whose apostolic ministry functions in conjunction with an apostle who is seen as the leader of a team of one or more other peer-level vertical apostles. They may be assigned specific spheres by the leading apostle. These are more than administrators or assistants or armor-bearers.
Congregational apostles.
Apostles functioning as senior pastors of dynamic, growing churches of more than 700-800.


Horizontal Apostles

Convening apostles.
Apostles who have authority to call together on a regular basis peer-level leaders who minister in a defined field.
Ambassadorial apostles.
Apostles who have itinerant, frequently international, ministries of catalyzing and nurturing apostolic movements on a broad scale.
Mobilizing apostles.
Apostles who have the authority to take leadership in bringing together qualified leaders in the body of Christ for a specific cause or project.
Territorial apostles.
Apostles who have been given authority for leading a certain segment of the body of Christ in a given territorial sphere such as a city or state.

Marketplace Apostles

It seems clear that some marketplace apostles would be vertical (perhaps within a large company) while others would be horizontal (bringing together peer-level marketplace apostles). The more we work with marketplace apostles, the more clarity will come in due time.

Maybe I have a different bible, but where in the bible and especially in the new testament, does it talk about Vertical and horizontal apostles? I dont recall That Peter and Paul were different apostles, eg Peter a vertical apostle and Paul was a horisontal apostle. Infact Paul said on more than one occasion because he had persecuted the early church, he didnt deserve to be called an apostle

Where does it say that we need a go between, us and God? Where in the bible does it say that our salvation is dependent on being under the annointing of a set man?

I cant sleep. O woe is me. Worst case scenario, I keep on going till sometime tomorrow, when I drop from exhaustion. I think right now though I would like to keep going till I feel sleepy

I should feel sleepy dam it, its been a really long day and an emotionally exhausting few weeks

Anyhow, some more getty images and some of mine



































This photo is mine, its taken early morning and Browns bay Beach. The mountain in the background is Rangatoto, which is a dormant volcano. Infact Auckland would be stuffed if these volcanoes werent doormant, theres like 20 of them arond the city. It looks really small from here however its not as small in person. One day I shall catch the ferry out there and walk to the crater













This photo was taken from my lounge room window one winters morning last year. excep the only difference is that winters in Auckland, are like summers in Christchurch. Its amazing how much difference 1000km closer to the equator makes.

Anyhow postitives about Auckland, its much warmer, my sister and her kids have just moved here, am doing well in uni.

the negatives, well the traffic, and the continual rain in winter. I'm sure in one rainy day in Auckland, we have like the same rainfall we would have all winter in Christchurch

This post was a reaction to someone elses wrong reaction. I have removed it as it was a waste of space and the person for whom it was written has most likely already copied and pasted it anyway.

The same person who copied and threatened to reveal stuff that was spoken to her in confidence, hardly christian action. However God makes all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purposes. And having someone threaten to reveal behavoir that I would have much rather kept quiet about caused me to take a long look at the reasons behind the behavoir, and in the end,k the truth set me free. With God, I faced my demons and He set me free

so to you anoymous person out there in the WWW, stay away from me, stop reading my blog to find out what new horrible things I've posted on you, because beyond this post, you sha'nt get any further mention. I dont trust you, and I dont want anything to do with you. So stay away

This is my d post, all my rantings about this mad cow shall go into this post

You know who you are.... Bad day to chose to hit on your blog, things that wouldnt normally irk me like the lies and crap you hve posted on your blog really annoys me today

JL banned your IP, because you hacked into SaM using another members account, and posted rubbish all over the forum. Stand up and take responsibility for your actions. If thats possible

Rather than admit publically what you did, you posted your "apology" on a private message board I am no longer a part of.

You lie, you have told many that you deleted my posts as SaM because they were all rude and abusive. Yes I did have momets of caustic sarcasm and down right bitchyness, but over 900 posts wortth, get a grip.

You claim you areoperating under the guidance of the Holy spirit. Since when does the holy spirit command people to copy posts, and repeat information thats been told in private. You apologised the first time you did it, and you did it again when you hacked into SaM. And since when does God condone hacking into message boards because you feel you have been wronged. You apologised once for repeating the confidential information, and what do you do, you do it again. I no longer believe you, I forgive you, however due to your tendency to implode and harm those close to you, stay the heck away from me

You accuse JL of having mental health issues, but I think you are the one who needs help D. You are pyschopathic. and you harm everyone you come into contact with. I told you once in a PM that you needed to deal with your past stuff so you could move on. You still need to, your bitterness about the past leaks through onto every action in your current

I will end this final post with this, stay away from my blog, and I shall no longer hit on yours either, because while you have the right words, your actions are far from measuring up to what you preach. You remind me of a pharisee, someone who is so caught up in living to the law, that you forget the grace.....

Goodbye and goodluck. I hope you can deal with the past stuff so you can really experience the freedom God wants you to experience..... I will pray for you, however it will be from a very long distance. You've done it to me twice now, and I'm not keen to experience it a third time

After an expereince like CIC, if I didnt know with such certainty that my old path was a one way ticket to hell, I would have been tempted to say "stuff you God, if this is you, I want nothing to do with you.












I was browsing through getty images today, and found this pic. Found it quote inspirational. Really felt that God was saying, "do you trust me, to take you over the edge?"

Do I trust God? I think so, I dont trust his people right now and thats a given. However if God called me into a hard place. Could I follow, definately.