Of where I live

My head hurts. I have just been looking at my uni website trying to figure out if I'm enroled in all the papers I need

I'm not sure how I ended up in one paper, because all the propaganda says I dont need it, I was stressing because the paper I should have been able to do I wasnt going to be able to do untill next year as I have five papers this semester and didnt want to make it six, but then I found out that I can do that paper next semester by correspondence.

but one of the papers I had done and thought I could count as an eelctive I couldnt use it, so I then had to pick another one. to cut along heachache short, I am now enroled in all the right papers, and come this time next year I will be where I thought I would be, starting level 3 with one level 2 paper I have to catch up on

And to top it off, mondays are going to be a killer

9-11am lecture
11-1pm lecture
1-2pm tutorial
2-4pm lecture

I need a holiday. Okay pity party over. Time for the next fun challenge

this pissy mentality, that "if your not for us your against us".

I'm sick of it, from now I'm changing my title from christian to she who worhsips Jesus and wears a pink fluffy bunny suit. Sure half the angst that comes from this life is because people take themselves far to seriously. When the heck did most of us loose that ability to look at ourseleves and laugh.

Work last night, well if we werent making jokes about habpour bridges and cutting bungey cords, I know I would have lost the plot. I had K in a brilliant space all damm day, to the point She was offering to do chores. Something that never happens. Its as probably less likely than me winning lotto. Her mum rings and all of a sudden, its F**k this and f**k that. All because of a 20 minute vist with her mum.

The one good thing, is at least I've mamanged most likley to stave of my return to the sex industry for another week. It would be nice to be able to plan long term, however its not a happening thing at the moment. One cool thing is that my course costs have been approved, so I can go buy books and hell maybe get an appointment to get my contacts updated. That would be ever so nice

Suck at the moment.

It would be nice to be in a place that I dont have to sell belongings to keep going. That sucks the potato big time. It would be in a place that I'm not considering taking a step back into sex work.

Logical mind says that sex work will in the end damage me, however last time the thing I found the hardest was not accepting money for sex, rather the fact that many of the punters were so damm boring that staying awake listening to them was a killer, also when someone sucks in bed, giving a performance that doesnt show them how crappy they are...

Also the bollicks to people who say money isnt everything. They usually are the ones who dont struggle for everything. Money releases that cold ball of knot from in your stomach, when you lie awake in bed at night stressing about how your going to pay your bills, and not be living out on the street

This week has been huge and its only monday. Was supposed to spend 24 hours on the street tonight but had a freakout... I spent about a month being homeless ffour years ago, and this course has bought some huge stuff up for me, and again today when L made the comment about dishonesty, it tore me in two....I remebered too well that time, when I had to steal to eat, and how what I could get was limited to what I could conceal, which was usually flat stuff like chocalate and museli bars........

I want to go home..... J told me that I wold find this lifechanging, and I wonder how I can go back to my nice white middle class christianity after this.. Impact talks about how they want to impact this nation for christ, yet they are in the process of building a 10million dollar building. Surely they could have renovated and expanded it for five and then done osmething for the inner city with the surplus

And no I am not, however as a part of an experience that gets me credits for my 179255 paper, tomorrow, I am going to be living as a client of the baptist city mission for the next eight days. I wont be like a real homeless person because if I choose to I can stop, chicken out or leave. Not a choice that real homeless people have. They cant just get on a bus and head home to their nice house in the suburbs

Read the most brilliant book today. About a colledge student who decided he wanted to see if his faith in God was authentic, so he decided to become a homless person. And for five months he was living out of dumpsters, panhandling for food. He madce the comment that in all the places he went, the worst reception he and his buddy had were from churches

the book is called "under the overpass: a journey of faith on the streets of america" by Mike Yankoski, and I give it a five out of five