A muslim woman has sex outside of marriage, regardless of whether its consesual, or non consensual, her religon dictates that she be put to death, even if she didnt consent to having sex in the first place.

Under the law of moses, an unmarried woman could also be put to death, for sex outside of marriage. If it was non consensual the death sentence depended on 1. was she inside a city walls, or out in the country. If she was in side the city and did not cry out thats it she was screwed, (Pun intended).

The concept of a God that can forgive even the blackest of things and make a person as white as snow, its a noodle baking moment. The concept of a God that can remove the shame of a woman who has held it for for nearly 25 years is huge. The concept of wise mind and emotional mind really comes into play here. Screw the fundies who say we should be avoiding pyschology altogther, many of them are the same fundies who would have us believe that an intellectual disability is the result of Demonic pocession.

Anyway back to wise and emtional mind, in wise mind I know that as a three year old there was nothing I could have done to stop what happened. The emtional mind however is a way different thing. The feelings of shame and disgust, and also anger that I tired to tell what was happening and wasnt believed.

I think though its one of those things that is not dependent on feelings, like I forgace the man who raped and sodmised me, but this morning when I was listening to wayne alcorm on healthy relationships, it was like being kicked in the guts. I think the decsion is that we can pick it up again when it rears its head, or we can leave it where it rests.

O lord let me never pick this up again. It almost killed me and I dont ever want to go there again

Theres a reason why I dislike elder care, every now and then I run up against a really offcious registered burse. Was comming back from a hideous lunch and running around and went to put my bag back where it had been all morning and this witch stopped me and told me to leave it in the staff room. Looked a little non impressed when I told her it had been there all morning.

Didnt need it, had just spent my lunch break running round like a moron, and just didnt need it. The rest of the shift was fine though. Its hard acting in a christ honouring manner when what you really want to do is to kick the other person. the lady in charge was nice though, although didnt meant to let rip with a bad word when she was in the room

Its kind of cool, JL of ex witch australia haas been giving me lessons on how to change the coding and put pretty pictures and headings in and the like.

And so Ex witch new zealand is born. Who knows which way things will go but hey thats cool. At the moment maybe I am in a holding pattern. Thats up to the boss

I found this in 1 John this morning, kind of intrigued me. As christians at times we get so caught up in our vendettas of those we feel have wronged us, that we loose sight of the fact that if we have hate for a fellow brother or sister in christ, we are akin to murderers

1 John 3. 15-16

15Anyone who hates another Christian[c] is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don't have eternal life within them. 16We know what real love is because Christ gave up his life for us. And so we also ought to give up our lives for our Christian brothers and sisters.

The whole CF thing intrigues me. Exorcist is so obviouly out to grab GMIRs nut and grind them to a pulp, he misses the whole thing of acting in a manner that is homouring to christ

Mind you I hardly do the right thing all the time, between him and minister and the chicks who pipe up with the passive agressive games, I wonder why I hang out there.

I feel so incredibly screwed up about dad at the moment. Nic says dont waste my energy, regardless of how much of a crap father he's been. he is still my dad. And I live in hope that one day he will sobber up and not go back drinking. He is so talented with his woodcarving, but so slack at getting anything finished. If his house was done he would add another 50K onto the value

Photos from my recent holiday.
1.The huka falls, which gained notereity when a young Dominatirx chucked an uncounscious client over them. Not surprisingly he died



















2. was the view from the lodge I stayed at in tongariro national park

You may have noticed with this blog, that there are a whole bunch of posts that are all on the same day... No I havent gone on a mad blogging spree, rather simply have transfered them over from my old blog

How is it a bad thing to be someone who shows love and grace to those around them, rather than being caught up in hell fore and judgement. frank ritchie who runs the green room on life fm published one of the rancid emails he recieved, and IMo it was down right putrid, and from someone who claims to be a christian. Its funny because while these people would seek to run him down in private they would never say to his face or on air.....

The one conclusion from today is come sunday stuff driving suring the day, I'm going to head out sunday night. Should be no one on the road, and loverly and quiet.

Anyway kicked of this morning, the tent was almost dry by the time I took it down, yay for that, and hit the road about 10am. Stopped to have a look at the infamous huj\ka falls where that dopey damm Dominatrix chucked Mr Plummly walker over. Grrr people like her give that lifestyle a bad name.

Tootled down the island, had a stop in turnagi, need to turn of there on sunday night, as am booked into a lodge up there for a couple of nights. Through the desert road, thats a fun road to drive when there are no cars, cars especially cars that drive really slow take all the fun out of it. Made paraparaumu about three. Kicked round for a couple of hours and then headed into wellington....

Jesus Christ in his time on eart hung out with the tax collectors, prostitutes and other assorted "dodgy" people of the times. While he never indulged or condoned their activities. He spent more time with these people than the pharisees and other religous leaders of the time. From what a person can read in the scriptures, it seems that he had very little time for these people.

Phillip Yancey in his book, " ,whats so amazing about Grace" tells a story about a prostitute, with a less than sterling past who was asked about going to church. Her comment said voulmes, "Church!, Why would I want to go there, I already feel bad enough about myself". The christian church, somewhere along the way, it seems has lost or at least strongly diluted the message of Gods grace.

Hard line christians who are protesting things like the civil unions and the prostitution law reform bill, critisise other christians for being too accepting and tolerant of the things that are(morally), taking our society down the toilet. they cite passages from the bible that support their stance.
The other group feel that is is important to be tolerant and respectful other peoples perspectives in order to not alienate people from being receptive to the gospel message, "Judge not least yea be judged', is a favourite scripture of this group.

Jesus Christ I believe would be someqwhere in the middle of these two groups. Througout the bible, he is seen to cause chaos, as he rails at the money changers and stall holders, "who have turned his fathers house into a den of robbers" (Mathew 21:13). He regulalry accuses the pharisees, of being hypocrites. Yet when he meets the samritan woman at the well (John 4)he takes time to talk to the woman. Before He points out that the man the woman is living with, is not her husband.

Telling someone that their way of life is a sin against God (while it maybe), usually all it does is offend, and alienate that person further from the grace that Christ offers. Yet if the same christian took the time to get along side the people he/she is trying to communicate with and form an aquaintance, or friendship, they are more likely to be able to speak biblical truth into the life of the non christian. And for that non christian to recieve it, listen to it, act on it, rather than seeing it as the ravings of a judgemental religous nut and rejecting the christian and running further away from the Gods message of grace

IN short, thats what being a christian is about, if it were not for the grace of God, none of us would be here

More on BDSM

Dangerous people in BDSM.
Theres this misconception that BDSM play is somehow done by force, and to a newbie who is witnessing a Dom dragging his sub around by her hair, it may seem hugely alarming and violent. What the newbie may not realise, that the scene they have just witnessed, is carefuly choreographed, and that the Dom and sub have been doing it for years, and the Dom knows exactly how far that he can take it. The danger arises when a Dom who is new to the scene and figures that if Bob can drag his sub round and treat her the way he saw him doing, then he can do the same to his sub. Thats how bones get broken.

It irks me in a huge way when I hear people in church condemming those who choose to live a D/s lifestyle, or to have an involvement in the BDSM scene as being dangerous, or unfit parents. I met many in the scene who had 1 or more children, and their kids were healthy welbalnced children, who did well at school, some were doing well in the work place. Come to think of it, for the most part, their parents did such a good job of keeping their activities seperate, that they didnt know that anything was amiss.

God in the bible talks abot sin, and how it seperates us from being in a right relationship with him. Okay so I havent read the whole bible yet, though I seriously doubt that there is anywhere in the bible, where God tells his people that sexual sins are worse than other sins. That he can forgive a normal sin, but for a sexual sin, its going to be an extra time spent in purgatory

Blah!!! People are selective in teaching what they want to teach. Mr Tamaki is a good example of that... "I wouldnt be scared walking tinto a witches coven". well Mr Tamaki, if you went with the same approach that you take today, towards Gays and other minority groups, they would eat you alive (and no I dont mean literally)

Sex, everybody thinks about it, no one wants to talk about it.

For many people never mind christians, the term BDSM conjurs up images of leather clad Dominatrixes, and naked submissives, wearing only a collar and chain attached to their mistresses wrist. words like deviant, and dangerous come to mind. Scenes of a naked subbie being beaten into submission against their will, or being forced to sexually service their Dom.

I lived in this shadow world for close to two years. A world forced to be silent, because of peoples prejudices. People who lived in fear of being found out, because if they were found out, it would mean the loss of Jobs, the loss of homes, loss of the children.

The reality was that none of the people I met, could be classified of dangerous, and none would ever force someone to particpate in a scene agaist their will. The people I met were Doctors, lawyers, surgeons, teachers, accountants, scientists to name but a few. Some had children to care for. These people always took the utmost of care to ensure that their children were never put in a position of walking in while mum and dad were playing. These couples also took every precaution to ensure that when their toys weren't in use they were locked away and not left out where a child could find them. As one person said to me, "its cool for my children to choose this when they are older, but I am determined they should be able to enjoy the innocence of being a child".

Now as a christian, I sometimes feel people expect me to speak out in judgment of that lifestyle. I choose not to indulge anymore, however I will not sit in judgement of friends who chose to indulge still. I think its a lifestyle that enourages infidelity, people rather than talking to their husbands or wives about their sexual preferences, find it far easier to go out and get a bit on the side. Because to say to their loved one, "Hey I like to be tied up and beaten". Is not an easy thing to do because of the constraints of what is deemed to be acceptable in our society are held to very tight standards.

I cant explain to a person, what it is about being being tied up and flogged, that worked for me. I found in a power exchange there was something that just sat my head in a right place in the world... Infact while I am a christian now, to say that I dont miss that way of life, would be a lie.

have been exploring other churches this Sunday.

What prompted it was the lady who I was under in terms of pastoral care, was only available on a Tuesday night which more often than not I had a commitment either with the small group I was a part of, or work commitments...... Among other things I was told not to make excuses, if I really wanted to meet I would drop everything to meet on a Tuesday night when this woman had a free 30 mins (or words to that effect)..... I had been told of for talking with another person about this woman, so this time I really felt I should talk to her. I attempted to say although I'm not sure it was heard, that it wasn't due to her, merely her limited time and the fact that I don't find that over the phone pastoral care very helpful. For the most part this lady was brilliant. She said she would speak to the pastor in charge about having me placed with someone else...

I mean grrrrr. She started going on about all the contact I had with people. Including sitting next to someone in church, being prayed for on an alter call, talking to a woman over the phone. Maybe in the space of a couple of weeks might have added up to 30 mins. Why was I needing to be in contact with others? Coz I felt like I was floundering and struggling to keep head above water. Also still absolutely paranoid about being over needy so keeping it to the very bad times.

The reason why I got transferred to this woman in the first place was that the pastor I had been seeing had been assigned to teach at the church school, and couldn't do both jobs. But with the former lady, I might see her once a week for a couple of weeks the might not see her for two or three weeks. But with her the chance to talk face to face regularly helped heaps.... After this convo I ended up feeling like crap, mainly coz had tried to do the right thing and came away feeling worse... I e confused.

did you know according to Christians of the Pentecostal type, all we ex witches /pagans do is sit online and talk about how good it used to be, and how crap Christianity is I spend alot of time here 1. Because if I can have a positive input into someone's life that's cool, 2. Because you guys understand, if I sit here and say that I am struggling really bad with wanting to go back, you get it, you hear and you don't come up with complicated theological arguments about what would happen if I went back.

anyway I went to a new life church in the morning, and it was cool, nice and friendly, even got invited to their church lunch. The message was a tad long, I'm the sort of person that if its much beyond 30 mins my concentration just goes... But the content was good solid bible teaching.

In the evening I went to the church I mentioned a few weeks back. They finally have free parking which in Auckland city is a good thing. The service felt like I had come home... They have a contemporary praise and worship, and the preaching is very solidly biblically based, and nice genuine people. I had started going along to a student group at this church as well....

Why the title. Because as awesome as it was to have a confirmation this was a new church home I feel like I am being sneaky and wrong at doing this in some respects. I keep half waiting for the phone call "where were you on Sunday". I think what it is that there are some awesome people in that church and even though I don't particularly like the fact this church seems in may ways a personality cult about our senior pastors, it doesn't stop the people from being cool people... Also I had been told more than once, that God has placed me at CI because the anointing is so amazing and blah blah. When I expressed the belief God had shut the door for me at CI, it was basically inferred I couldn't be hearing the voice of God.... Without a doubt I believe that God has very clearly shut the door at that church.. Anyway hope this yucky feeling will pass, because being in conflict like this sucks

There are to many aspects of CI that bug me, and I'm not that up myself to think that it would change. IE the huge pressure on giving, also the inference that people don't give enough, also in some respects theprosperity message. IE Give and God will bless you. God blesses whether people give or not. Don't get me wrong I fully am in favour of giving to support my local church... I always felt it was over the top and guilt inducing.

The worship team are a talented bunch of people however many times, it feels over done, I would be in a state of trying to worship God and all I could hear was the worship leader from the stage, I used to wish they would just shut up and let god, Oh and that someone would turn her mic down

But also I guess my background has lead me to be a thinker, and there is alot of extra biblical stuff that is accepted without question, almost like tis bad to be a free thinker. Anway coming to the end of this, man a good write helps. Talked to G today. An awesome woman who I love to bits and have alot of respect for. I spoke what was on my heart about CI and also there close relationship wth D church, it was good to go back and reconnect with the past. Her and M are truly brilliant people, how many other people could put up with the random phonecalls here and there

Gak why does it feel so much like thats what I have just committed. I didnt go to CI at all yesterday, I went to a new life church yesterday morning and to st P. yesterday evening. The St P service was brilliant. I have realised I like the contempory style of praise and worship, though cant stand the false BS that is associated with penticostalism.....

I wonder if I was missed. Doubt it. The joys of having to say I think you guys are full of it, so I'm leaving. Couldnt believe it when J said if I wanted to be involved I could come on down to the working Bees and the like. yea I could if I wanted to give up on a days work, then not have enough money to pay bills and gak my tithe

Lord

My wish list here....

What I would like is a christian woman, who has either been into BDSM, witchcraft or both. Someone that I can have a face to face meeting with when needed, not more than once a week and probably longer in between

I spoke to V last night, the whole arrangment wasnt working for me, being able to meet on one night a week, when I'd had work, and other committments and not having seen her face to face. Maybe I'm a freaking narcisit, though I like to know that someone thinks I'm important enough to take 30mins or an hour out of their week to be able to talk to me on a face to face basis

went to WPB today. Have decided to start checking out some other churches. I may decide CI is where I want to be, and then again may not. The environment was really unfriendly, not a single person said hellow unless one is to count those on the door. I couldnt help but think "If I wasnt a christian, what sort of impression would this leave on me.

The preacher was good. He spoke about the sin of doing nothing, and used the analogy of Lazarus and the rich man from luke. and how his crime wasnt being rich, but his crime was that he did nothing.

My cellphone rings, its a noob from the nursing agency, saying "Would you like a shift"
me: "sure, what is it"
them "7am-3pm"
me: "didnt you read the bit in my avaliability that says short shifts"
them: "oh no, opps and by the way I think i woke up your entire house because I rang your landline"
me: "Yip you probably did. what part of, "dont ring my landline 1st thing in the morning because I wont hear it and you'll wake up the family I live with, did you not understand"

I then had to go do ablutions, and the five mins I was in the toilet, my cellphone had rung like two more times.

To top it off was rung by the other agency this avo

Them: "would you like a shift in Kumeu"
Me: when its it"
Them: 7-11pm tonight"
Me: "what does it say in my avaliability scedule"
Them: "not avaliable"
Me: "there you go then"

Surely it would be alot easier and more pleasant to take a look in my avaliability before ringing me. I mean all they have to do is push a button or two it isnt rocket science. But no.

Good grammer. feeling as unsettled as anything at the moment. I am sure God has closed the door on cI. But the thought of going somewhere else quite honestly leaves me cold. Cant talk to any of that lot, because I'll get the whole "We're right and everyone else is wrong speech". Which to me smacks of arrogance

I have realised that with recent stuff I need to let go and give it to God

Have been reading the debate on another blog, and I find it really sad about how males and females are put into seperate boxes and females shouldnt be having a public ministry. At least the view of some people. Is it that they feel threatened, is it that they worry that women may do a better job than them at the same ministry.

I think God created men and women to work in partnership, that wasnt so men could lead and women could follow meekly along behind but in partnership.

Thanks to merriamwebster

Main Entry: part·ner·ship
Pronunciation: -"ship
Function: noun
1 : the state of being a partner : PARTICIPATION
2 a : a legal relation existing between two or more persons contractually associated as joint principals in a business b : the persons joined together in a partnership
3 : a relationship resembling a legal partnership and usually involving close cooperation between parties having specified and joint rights and responsibilities


IN other words, not women following along behind blindly, but together along side, it makes me mad how many males use the bible as a means to justify chauvanism

That

I have just realised that God has closed the door on ci firmly, this is not to be my church home. It is an awesome church full of amazing people, its not my church home. Where I dont know, St Pauls seems kind of cool, and its a chance to be in on the ground floor which would be awesome, but also I have realised I dont give a rip if I serve in a church, I want to be serving non christians and being able with God through me to be a blessing in their life. God blesses me so I can bless others, and in my case, would like that to be non christians.

Why, well for one thing its so cool to be able to do something little for a person and have it make a huge impact on their life. The way I have seen in the work with the elderly, something like offering to clean someones walls because they are gray and dirty frmo the hot water cylander and that person acting like I have offered them the moon..... I want to have that sort of impact as a christian

Lord God

You know what you've layed on my heart at this time, father give me inspiration at this time as I begin to write it, that its your thoughts and words going down on paper

In Jesus Name I ask

Went to the gate 28 thing at st pauls last night. It seems kid of cool, and I think I had forgotten what being back in an anglican church was like and it was nice having worship that wasnt over the top and all hyped up. I think I may go to a sunday service in a few weeks, perhaps I will aim for the 20th, as to aim to avoid the sacrifical offering at CI. I doubt the powers that be would be impressed if I only stuck in 50c or a buck, seriously even that would be a sacrifice, or perhaps I could use my petrol money and walk everywhere for the week. Mehhh I am being silly now. I dont like this place where I am at presently. I feel cynical, when I see the prayer on a sunday after the night service, the cynic in me wanders if its the holy spirit moving, or certain pastors attempting to force the holy spirit to move


Have my final exam in 30 mins. Yay for that. I hope I do okay, the study thing felt inpossible as there was just so much stuff to learn. doesnt help being tired either

Spoke with V yesterday, and glad I did, whether I stay at CI or not I really felt I needed to make ammends with her, as I had wronged her. I think the hardest thing about asking someones forgiveness is to suck it up, admit that we were wrong and just do it. Because the few times Gods really convicted me that I need to do that, it hasnt been half as bad as I thought it would be

I hurt. will have to struggle downstairs in a mo and take some antiflam, in a hope that I can get moving. anyhow, no church till tonight, all it is today when I finish here is study, study, study for phonetics exam tomorrow.

Things are good. Got a really good email from M this morning. For a non christian hes pretty cool, I appreciate him and the others from EW as it keeps me remembering in terms of my faith that I need to keep it real, and at times its good to shut up and love... Now need to start trying to put that into practice

I have 10 more minutes and then its off to study. Have done nothing today yet, but did go aqua jogging and it was brilliant, I am actually as close to pain free as I have been in days. Yay for that.

It makes me sad, J one of the guys on EW has packed a snit and taken his toys to go play else where. We can skirt around the issues for sure, but how and why should we be expected to compromise our beliefs to not offend anyone. Christianity by the very fact it has a set of absolute moral beliefs, will offend people. Jesus Christ offended the pharisees on a regular basis. He called them lovers of the law, snakes vipers, and more...

What is the choice, that we compromise our faith to keep otherc happy. I dont think so, we were called to be of this world, not a aprt of it. Also Ulf eichman said it brilliantly that the message can be pakaged to reflet the different times, but we must never compromise on content

I am still not sure about CI. I think it is a good place although there are still some things that squick me and yea...

The suffering thing bugs me. I'm doing it alot at the moment and I know God isnt the cause of this, and I praise God for the fact I can get out of my bed each day and get myself through the day. No ands ifs or buts on that one but hey....

She smiles to hide the pain inside
A mask formed so long ago
She looks for love in all the wrong places
Removing the mask
Showing herself as God created her to be
Removing the mask, its been so long she doesn’t know how

Someone told her about a man who wasn’t the same
Someone who knew what she hid behind the mask
Someone who was waiting
To welcome her with open arms

Is feeling remarkably like yesterday. didnt go the the new church because parking in auckland city is appalling. The only place I could find parking was like $11, so in the end I tossed it in and went to my church. Which is cool though right now am feeling unsettled as anything. If I could pin it down to a person or encounter that would be not a problem, coz I could go to the cause and deal with it. Not so simple alas

Schlect, furchtbar. Dont know if thats spelt right, but who really gives a rip. What a complete waste of time. The one bonus is that I can claim for it on my time sheet. R is an idiot, his wife reminded me of a short haired german pointer, but hety thats not very chirstian, and I dont care.... Neener neener to the lot of them

Have decided that I am going to try out the new church tonight, amd currently killing time at work and will go afterwards straight from here

Not sure really. This is a desperate attempt to avoid study. Will head downstairs in a moment and get into the physcology stuff. Bleech.

Its funny really, I have noticed non christians are very good at saying that we cant prove that chirstianity is real, but when we point out to them that they cant prove its wrong, they get a little miffed. It annoys me, in terms of academia, I wouldnt accept a website as proof that proves a theory one way of the other, why should I be expected to accept a website for prrof that Jesus Christ is a false profit

Hell if I wanted to I could set myself up with a PHD in social work, all for the low low price of $49.99.

So I cant prove that christianity is right. Of course not. Wish I could, it would make evangilism so much easier. All I can do is speak from what I know, which with some of the non christians in EW, I'm sure they delight in showing of their intellectual superiority. Not the nicest christian thing to say, I know, maybe its the flesh side of me speaking. I listen to some of the non christians speaking and my spirit crawls, when I hear why they say, it sunds so wrong to me. But as it says in the bible, this is not a battle in the natural, but we fight not against flesh and blood, but powers, principalities.

As for churches at the moment. I am feeling unsettled at CI, and as accepting and nice as they are, I doubt things like wishes that the worship leaders would sometimes just shut up, would go down very well. There is nothing worse than in the middle of a free worship time, when all one can here is this particulalr leader from the stage, and for me its taken on a harsh yucky quality as well, it doesnt even sound nice at those times

Anyway I may go check out St pauls, sometime. S keeps recomending I do so. And a penticostal anglican church, that would be cool

Some little punk yesterday squirted glue or something on my paintwork. I am sick of the destructive lil b*ggers, it seems every time I look at my car, theres another dent, scratch etc that I didnt put there. anyway was trying to scrape this stuff off and it went up under my finger nail... And cause it was sharp its like owwwwwww...

And my hands are starting to play up again... Yay to god I mean I have had two or three painless months andd I am greatful for that however at the moment I am having alot of residual pain from them

what a cool couple of weeks. Got an email last week from student life saying congrats, you have won the ipod draw.... How cool is that. Got it on friday and had to confess my nitial response was gak its pink... But then figured its a freebie so I should suck it up and stop moaning... I mean these things sell for about $400 new. Had break through last week. Had been in a rather funky headspace all week and felt like using a hammer like most people would do, I was headbutting the damm wall. Spoke with C and yea something just gave. It was good, no need for heavey duty prayer to sort it, it just kind of happened

And I dont give a DAMM what C says, I'm sure I am being over needy...

yay its all over. I have moved and its novel. Its actually really cool. although I am finding it hard the idea that I can go to the fridge and make myself a sandwich, without feeling like I am helping myself to other poeples food.

Is. didnt getto my place till after 5pm on friday and I was really starting to panic as I didnt want to run into B again. But I didnt, so it was like yay, that makes me happy. W said about leaving a blessing for him before I left, like chocalates or something, but I decided to do something bigger, and cleaned the bathroom and kitchen. Considering how gross they were, it was no small gesture...

I have finally got past wanting to leave it on a nice note with the flatmate.. The guy is one of the worlds biggest freaks. He sent me an email last night, he was home I was home, yes we were in different rooms at the oppisate ends of the house and obviously getting off his ass to come and talk to me was too damm much for him.... Anyway, the email was asking for the final bills. I wrote back and said when are you going to cough up with my final weeks rent... he started pontificating about how he didnt have to do what he said in the email, and how he was only doing it as a favour and then turned around after agreeing it was okay if I left in the afternoon, telling me i had to be out by midday......

I reminded him that his email was as good as a verbal contract and probably more binding, given that it was written down and tracing the authenticity was no biggy... Also told him that he couldnt change the rules to suit himself and while I appreciated him finding a replacement, the idea of refunding my final weeks rent came from him, not me, and while I was fine to wait for the money, unless he gave me an eta on when, I wouldnt be paying him any more money...... Gak I hate getting nasty like that, but I have had to out up with him changing the rules repeatedly in the last 2 weeks and yea well kind of snapped a bit... Anyway I have the $75 back ($120 minus expenses)

I cant wait to get out, I took some stuff round to the new place this morning, the dog is gorgeous made careful sure all the doors were shut

I really do. Seriously me thinking thats a damm scary thing... So I move on friday. Yay flipping ha. I cant wait. B is a really nice guy but in terms of keeping tidy and the like, he is a slob. Pure and simple. the dishes havent been done for like several weeks and only because I cane be assed doing his dishes, he never does mine and yea, am getting sick of it. Will have to dig through the dishes to get mine out of there which I am not looking foward to but hey thats life

Am off to get my flute today, I am so excited about that. I havent played for several years and I am looking foward to getting back into it

I'm not going to block course... I cant be assed, I will write the assignment, send it in, do the test but I am not giving up my midterm break to go to a stupid block course
I feel mildly bad for bunking, but then I go lie down and wait till it passes.

I am going to change my address this morning, get a quote for student loan and finish my assignment, and then with the amount of free time I have left I shall pack some more... I am thankful to I for being able to help me with moving, if he has a ute and a trailer then I should be able to get it done in one load, rather than the millions of loads it would be if I had to use my car

the elections are insane, one minute labour is winning, the next minute national is winning. Just kicking back and being severly unimpressed at the slanging match tha its turned into. So its an election but I'm mighty sure that it hasnt been this bad in previous years. Nationals TV add, rather than making me want to vote for national, it makes me want to vote for anyone but

Not actually a bad one, the block course was fairly dull, it doesnt help that I have a severe problem with motivation at the moment. even though mya papers will count for electives its still not holding my attention coz I am no longer doing speech language

The world seems like its going nuts at the moment. The situation in new orleans is mind blowing. It makes me relaise how blessed I am to be living in a place where we simply dont have to deal with things like hurricanes and all the associated BS that goes with it. And to think we NZers moan about petrol prices yet in the states it seems standard for them to be paying $2.50 a gallon. Mind you if NZ keeps going the way it is, we'll be at $2 by xmas...

Have decided to fill in a from for summer impact. Summer harvest seems cool but I am really feeling led that summer impact might be more where God wants me. Who knows he will have to open the way and provide the funds, although saying I was accepted it shouldnt be too much of a mission to pay of $200 by xmas

If it was up to me, I would remove august 31, fathers day and commercial Christmas from the calendar. These damm days that are so family orientated.... Bleech. I realized it wasn't the thought of my dad not being there that upset me, it was the fact that he obviously held me in maybe higher regard than my sisters but never knew how to tell me that. I found a pic of me taken about when I was 3 and 1/2 years old. I found it upsetting as I remember now what that little child was going through
I get sick of the emotional baggage though. I feel so flipping needy at times and even though that's not necessary a bad thing it so goes against the worlds was of thinking

as for birthdays well it was a really nice day all in all, and not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I have removed the mental health people from my life which feels wonderful, its like having a gangrenous limb removed. Figuratively of course

Aint it pretty

Someone slap me. Actually someone slap certain people that I know. Why is it that some christans are so damm offendable... Its like man oh man, its only a little thing, stop getting so damm offended on me.

Caught up with C the other day, really cool thought we were meeting at the church and she drags me off to do coffee on account of it being my birthday. How cool is that.

I dislike packing intensly though mind you its been a nice morning, will go to church tonight. Have decided that I will go to the staff meeting today. All to listen to my illustrious leader pontificating

Sick sick sick sick, I'm sick of being sick. Moan moan, whinge whinge... There I dont feel better but its a start... went to the doctors this morning, told her to give me prednisone, a nebuliser, but sheesh just let me breathe... Came home with prednisone, antibiotics, inhalers, headache pills, the one consalation as of this evening I feel better. Yay for that

Thank goodness that I can apply for impaired preformance tomorrow as Everytime I have tried to study in the last few days I end up wanting to sleep

Particularly christians. It was one of my pet peeves before I became a christian was christians who couldnt debate the issues, I mean the classic one is JK who says that even if statsnz pointed in his favour he would call them Biased. I dont flipping well think so, but neiter him or MM can produce any sources to the contrary that disprove what I have said. and they want to go out and evangilise the world, how can they hope to when they remain so damm ignorant of the need to first have a credibility in everyday mundane matters