Sex, everybody thinks about it, no one wants to talk about it.

For many people never mind christians, the term BDSM conjurs up images of leather clad Dominatrixes, and naked submissives, wearing only a collar and chain attached to their mistresses wrist. words like deviant, and dangerous come to mind. Scenes of a naked subbie being beaten into submission against their will, or being forced to sexually service their Dom.

I lived in this shadow world for close to two years. A world forced to be silent, because of peoples prejudices. People who lived in fear of being found out, because if they were found out, it would mean the loss of Jobs, the loss of homes, loss of the children.

The reality was that none of the people I met, could be classified of dangerous, and none would ever force someone to particpate in a scene agaist their will. The people I met were Doctors, lawyers, surgeons, teachers, accountants, scientists to name but a few. Some had children to care for. These people always took the utmost of care to ensure that their children were never put in a position of walking in while mum and dad were playing. These couples also took every precaution to ensure that when their toys weren't in use they were locked away and not left out where a child could find them. As one person said to me, "its cool for my children to choose this when they are older, but I am determined they should be able to enjoy the innocence of being a child".

Now as a christian, I sometimes feel people expect me to speak out in judgment of that lifestyle. I choose not to indulge anymore, however I will not sit in judgement of friends who chose to indulge still. I think its a lifestyle that enourages infidelity, people rather than talking to their husbands or wives about their sexual preferences, find it far easier to go out and get a bit on the side. Because to say to their loved one, "Hey I like to be tied up and beaten". Is not an easy thing to do because of the constraints of what is deemed to be acceptable in our society are held to very tight standards.

I cant explain to a person, what it is about being being tied up and flogged, that worked for me. I found in a power exchange there was something that just sat my head in a right place in the world... Infact while I am a christian now, to say that I dont miss that way of life, would be a lie.